What People Don't Tell You About Having Two Kids

Going from one baby to two is definitely a transition. Everything that worked so well the first time doesn’t this time around and what you were once an “expert” at becomes unfamiliar territory. Especially going from boy to girl, or vice versa – but that’s a whole other conversation.

I knew things were going to get crazy for a little while but what I didn’t expect was losing Mom friends; Friends that had become important to me and my sanity of being a mother. I’m not sure why, but as women we can be judgy, hypocritical and insensitive. I’m not quite sure why we want to be friends with people like that but nonetheless you still feel the sting when they decide your friendship doesn’t count anymore.

The feeling of rejection is compounded because these were the friends who you turned to about Baby #1 and worked through infancy, baby milestones and toddlerhood with. The friends you thought would be the most supportive and helpful when it came to Baby #2.

 I didn’t think it would be an issue to nurse my infant while my toddler was playing in playgroup, relying on their help if it was needed. Or quickly leaving to change the baby’s diaper while the big kids were enjoying a snack together. And don’t get me started on the tandem meltdowns when the baby wants to nurse and be rocked but the toddler wants you to hold them or go play tag at the same time.

This is when the stares and murmurs start. Clearly these mothers are experts on having one kid (although, is there really such thing as being an expert mother) and their expertise carries over to their imaginary multiple children, too.

So, they judge how you react to the meltdowns, or joke (or not) about needing wine at night, or pawn your toddler off for a few minutes in their trusted hands to work your magic on the baby.

You would think this would all be ok and perfectly acceptable; leaning on one another when it’s needed and then returning the favor when it’s their turn because you know exactly how it feels.

But that’s not what happens. You were the first of your friends to have two children and they don’t understand what all comes with Baby #2. Bless their little naive hearts.

Some of you are reading this and have no idea what I’m talking about because your friends are great – they don’t judge you and are totally supportive of your role as a mother. I have those kinds of friends too and love them more than I knew because of how they’ve pulled through for me and continue to be a pillar in my life.

 

And then some of you know exactly how it feels to be separated from friends and knowing in your gut it’s because of your expanded family – not the busy schedules or hectic holidays. To you, I say screw ‘em. It’s good to learn now which girlfriends can hang with you for the long haul and which ones can’t handle the mud. Plant your garden where the sun shines 

"The Stockings Were Hung by the Chimney With Care"

I have been on the hunt for Christmas stockings for all of us that I LOVE for what seems like FOREVER! I'm talking year after year after year. More specifically, since 2006 when Joe and I got married. I wanted stockings that were festive, personalized, unique and would grow with the kids throughout the years.

After looking in stores, browsing the web and scouring Pinterest I gave up and solicited my Momma to help make our own. I got so many compliments on them I thought I would share the process with you so you could make your own, too :)

First, I found a few sample ideas on Pinterest and used those to help figure out what kind of layout I needed and the amount/type of supplies I need (fabric, ribbon, bells).

I went to local fabric stores and looked online for fabric pieces that I liked. I wanted each of us to have our own stockings but wanted them to match as a whole even though each one was different. The hardest fabric to find was the Yankees logo; I had to use a pair of Joe's pajama pants for that strip because fleece was the only fabric online and that's not really conducive to the project we were working on.

After buying the different pieces I decided that I wanted each stocking to have the same layout. I treated each one like a puzzle and even though the pieces looked different the shape and size were all the same. I think this helps make the stockings look like a whole set instead of too individualized.

I played with the different fabrics and ribbons until I found a layout for each stocking that I liked. The final step was taking a picture and passing this project along to my Mom.

My mom designed a stocking pattern to use as the base so it was easier to sew on the different puzzle pieces. I wanted the stockings to be a bit larger and more wide than typical stockings so we could fit enough goodies in there on Christmas morning. First, she sewed the fabric pieces on and then added the ribbon segments, making sure the seams were tight and followed the shape of the stocking. Mom added the top cuff last and embroidered our names on them. 

Here's the final product! We love them and they are perfect to grow with our family each year. 

Pregnancy #2

I always knew I wanted more than one baby and hoped that was in God’s plan, too. We started trying for our second child what some would consider early – and I was nervous. Nervous it would take a long time again. Nervous I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again at all. But we were blessed and after seven months of charting and trying we became pregnant with Baby #2!!

This pregnancy was different from my first in many ways. I didn’t crave any foods. I didn’t eat like a herd of elephants. I focused on eating healthy and doing my best to make my body feel good.

Because it usually didn’t. I was the epitomy of pregnancy discomfort. I couldn’t sleep at night because my hips felt so much pressure it hurt to lay down. I would pace the house hoping to get so exhausted I would just collapse into sleep. No such luck. I was lucky to get two hours at a time before I had to reposition of get up and move. During the day I felt great – I napped with Nate napped and slept in some mornings when my husband was home. This was great for me but really great for Joe and Nate because they were able to spend quality time together.

This pregnancy started off not being a “high risk pregnancy” so we didn’t get as many ultrasounds as we did with Nate. Which meant we had to wait sixteen weeks to find out if we were having a boy or girl. With Nate, we found out early and in the ultrasound room – Joe was too excited to wait and I couldn’t deny him the knowledge. But with Baby #2 we had the ultrasound tech write down the sex of the baby and put it in an envelope. This envelope was trusted to one person who was in charge of filling our balloon box with either pink or blue balloons.

We hosted a gender reveal party and had our family over to discover with us and celebrate. Joe and I were both thinking boy and were so happy to find out we were having a GIRL! #teampink

Shopping and nursery prep for a little girl can be so fun! Picking out a name, not so much! My top pick was Parker Margaret (Margaret after my mom) and Joe’s was Payton. Payton Leigh is what we ended up with – and we didn’t decide until we were being discharged from the hospital after delivery. I may have been bitter and continued to call P Parker for the first months of her life <3

Starting at week 30 I had the stress tests again each week. Throughout my pregnancy my doctor was worried about my lack of weight gain, but the baby always measured perfect. In the beginning I lost weight because I didn’t want to eat anything and I didn’t overeat at all (very different from my nightly box of brownies with Nate). So when I did gain from week to week some of that was catch up from my first trimester weight loss.

At week 35 Baby was diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Restriction. She wasn’t growing very much and my doctor put me on a strict diet; I needed to eat more fatty foods myself in the hopes that the baby would gain the weight.

I knew I would end up being induced again and I was emotional about it. I wanted more time with Nate as my only child. I wanted to finish the curtains and stencil wall in the nursery (neither have yet to be finished). I wanted to make freezer meals for my recovery week.

I remember at 37 weeks I was at a weekly appointment getting an ultrasound with my doctor. She asked the usual, “How are you feeling?” and I unloaded all my nervousness on her. I felt stressed! I wanted more time before having the baby. Through tears I was telling her about my anxieties.

This is when she told me my fluid level was low and I was to be induced ASAP. The following morning. My tears turned to ugly crying. Joe was on a 24 hour shift and wouldn’t be home until after I was admitted. I wanted more time to have a special weekend with Nate. I hadn’t packed my bags. The house needed to be cleaned. Laundry needed to be washed, folded and put away.

But babies don’t wait.