Payton's Birth Story

If I could describe my delivery with Payton in one word, that word would be DENIAL.

I was in denial when my doctor gave me only twelve hour's notice about my induction.

I was in denial that I was having another child and Nate wouldn't be my "baby" anymore.

I was in denial that my wax appointment was the following day and I was not prepared to be seen in public my strangers.

I was in denial about a lot of things.

Joe came home early off of shift and we went to the hospital together. Nate stayed the night with me in our bed so I could get extra snuggles with him and my mom came over early in the morning to stay with him while we were admitted.

If I had to pick a second word to describe Payton's delivery it would be DIFFERENT.

I loved my nurse - she was attentive and great. Much different than the nurses I had for Nate's delivery, even though I was in the same hospital.

I was admitted at 8:00am and by 9:00 the Pitocin was on. I didn't need the cervadil this time around because my cervix was already softened and I was dilated one centimeter.

With Nate I walked and used the birthing ball and was able to move around to help my body labor. With Payton, since I was a high risk delivery I had to be hooked up to the monitors at all times and mine was extra sensitive and didn't like any movement. I was told I had to stay in bed. I couldn't even take a bath to shave my legs - which was my plan since I was not prepared for this delivery and had so much tub time during Nate's labor.

When the nurse told me I was basically bed-ridden I requested to be put on the anesthesiologist's list for the epidural. Joe laughed. I gave him the stink eye. My pain level was at a one from the Pitocin but if I was forced to stay in bed and didn't have the option to help my labor progress then I wanted the epidural now and my goal was to be at a pain level of zero. With Nate I had a 36 hour induction so I knew what was coming and would rather take the next day napping than being uncomfortable.

At 11:00 I hadn't progressed and the nurse broke my water. Since this was a medically scheduled induction we needed to move things along and I couldn't really wait for my body to catch up. The hopes were that breaking my water would tell my body to start dilating.

At about 1:00 my nurse checked me and I was still only one centimeter dilated. While she was checking me my water broke (although this is debated because I swear I peed on her. She insists it was more of my water. I choose her story).

2:00, My epidural was placed in. With my first delivery, my anesthesiologist was great and the needle was placed on the first try. This time, it took three times for the doctor to get it right. Ouch!

Throughout the day I had a few visitors stop by to keep us company. My life long friend, Jane, came in right after I got my epidural and had lunch with us.

Jane left at 3:00 and I was ready for a nap. I was so tired from the stress of the past two days and finally felt calm enough to sleep. My nurse came to check on me because of the prenatal monitor and I told her that I was having a burning sensation in my belly. It felt almost like I ate some really acidic pasta sauce and it was burning a hole through my stomach lining. She checked me again on a hunch and I was fully dilated and ready to deliver. It was 3:14PM

I told her she was crazy and that I was taking a nap - come back in an hour and we could deliver. With Nate, I didn't start the delivery process until an hour after I was confirmed nine centimeters. I thought things would be the same and I could grab a quick snooze.

The nurse wheeled in the delivery cart. Again, I told her she was crazy and I insisted on taking a nap. She informed me that I was not having a nap, I was having a BABY.

I told her to relax, my doctor wasn't even there yet. We can't have a baby without her!
With Nate, I think part of why I had to wait to push was because my OB wasn't there yet.

In runs my doctor with her bootie covers in hand and says it's "time to push!" What?!?! I told them there was no way I was going to be able to deliver right now - I just had an epidural an hour ago, I couldn't feel my legs at all, let alone feel how to push correctly. They just needed to come back later. After my nap. Denial.

At 3:31 Payton Leigh was born! I wanted to deliver her myself like I experienced with Nate but she had a triple nuchal cord and my doctor had to deliver her.

I swear Payton popped out! Even my OB looked up at me with a shocked expression about how she came flying out of me.

After they placed my baby girl on my chest there was meconium present but she was fine. I was nervous about her being really small or needing extra help because she was early but she was perfect and healthy. A full head of dark hair.

I remember not really registering the moment, I think because it had happened so quickly and I was in a state of shock. I also remember thinking "This is easy! Let's do it again, Joe!".  Joe says no to Baby #3.

My post delivery was very different the second time around. The hospital now had the Golden Hour where there were no visitors allowed while Mom and Baby bond and try to develop a strong nursing relationship with skin to skin. Payton was a champ at nursing and latching on - also way different than my first.

We didn't weigh Payton until 7:00pm and that was only because my delivery nurse wanted to know her size before she went home for the day. Payton weighed 5 pounds 14 ounces

Payton didn't have a bath until the following day because the hospital now waits at least twelve hours before bathing (that's why her hair is still crunchy in all the photos). With my first delivery, I held Nate for a few minutes and they weighed and bathed him right away before giving him back to me. Totally different the second time around.

I asked my cousin and professional photographer, Maria, to come and take hospital photos of Payton as a newborn and these are some of my most prized possessions. I love every single photo <3

Our families came to meet our beautiful girl and Big Brother came and was excited to see us (but more so to play with Kailyn). It was a beautiful day and I remember feeling great. No post delivery pain -- but I was still tired because I never got my nap.

Payton's birth was such a positive experience I think that may be one of the main reasons I want a third child; I want to deliver again. And even though Nate's labor was awful, his delivery was great too - which hopefully means I can get lucky again.

To Share or Not to Share?

The lesson of sharing has been around for what seems like FOREVER and it appeared to be high on the list of things I would obviously have to teach my children when the time came.

But then I had children and realized that the premise of sharing isn't so black and white.

Here I am, mother to a three year old (who I have dubbed "Threenager") and my expectation is that he learn to willingly share all of his toys when his friends, neighbors or cousins come over. I expect the same from other children when we visit their house; that Nate will be able to share their toys and us Moms will have to serve as referee to the favorites of the bunch.

But is this really indicative to the adult world? I know, this sounds crazy, but follow me for a minute .... When MY friends come over, they don't just get to use my favorite mascara because it's what they want to play with. I don't rush to finish the latest Jodi Picoult novel in "five minutes" so they can read it next. I don't always want to willingly give up the last Girl Scout cookie because it's the nice thing to do. There are countless "adult" examples that I could give, but you get the picture.

I found myself getting frustrated that Nate was having such a hard time sharing and that he was so territorial over some of his toys. But then I realized that my expectations (and really what I thought was the normal expectation) didn't align with the mind of a three year old (or of many people for that matter).

When playing with the neighborhood kids and Nate is using his favorite sword to fight crime, I think it's his right to play with "that" sword. After all, it's his and the boy down the street has his own sword to play with. I guess this falls along the Montessori method of thinking; when a child "claims" a toy or play station, it essentially belongs to them until they are done exploring it. When I'm at the nail salon {which is rare} and am digging the latest issue of People magazine, the woman who walks in after me can't insist that  it's "her turn" and I must trade her for the ten month old edition of Good Housekeeping.

I'm not saying I don't expect my kids to share, or not to have a heart kind enough to WANT to make others happy. But that has become my motivation to teaching the foundation of sharing; making others happy by treating them with respect and kindness and making choices that will have a positive result.

When I'm done reading about the on-set dramas, celebrity babies and latest fashion faux pas, I can offer the magazine to anyone else who would like to read it because it is the polite thing to do.

When Nate decides he'd rather be Michelangelo with nunchucks instead of wielding a sword, he can offer it to the group instead of hoarding it under his bed {which has happened before}.

And when there's only one Thin Mint cookie left in the Girl Scout box he can either offer it up or move on to a different snack that everyone can share.

I know I'll get some crazy looks from the moms at the playground who think the swings should be on a "two minute rotation" so everyone can get a turn - but that's ok. Nate can swing until he is done because he was there first. They'll look at us crazy anyway because he'll be running around with a superhero cape, crazy boots on his feet and a sword in hand.